So many subway etiquette crimes go unpunished in New York City every day, but we’re here to gripe about them. Because we’re curmudgeons, and that’s what we do.
Here’s how I know I’m a morning subway curmudgeon:
2) So i’m being forced to stomach ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD in one ear, when (the admittedly wonderful during normal hours) Nicki Minaj starts up behind me. Come on people! It’s 8:30am and we’re all dreading going to work. Must you inundate me with your super bass when all I want to do is crawl back into bed? (For your transgression, I shall “stumble” into you. Yeah, keep looking at me.)
3) Finally (FINALLY!) I reach my destination. The mass moves to exit the train, but a suit is blocking half the door, reading his Wall Street Journal. Does he not notice the 15 people jostling towards him, desperate to escape the stale fart air of the M train? (For good measure, I drop a shoulder and bump him out of the way. I don’t look back, but he knows I did it on purpose. Good! He has been scorned.)
It seems I have an extraordinary amount of aggression towards those who commit subway fouls, so watch out NYC: the subway curmudgeon crusader might be coming after you next.