Showing posts tagged only girl in the world

Subway Curmudgeons

So many subway etiquette crimes go unpunished in New York City every day, but we’re here to gripe about them. Because we’re curmudgeons, and that’s what we do.

Here’s how I know I’m a morning subway curmudgeon:

1) A grimey looking middle-aged woman seated in front of me is blaring Rihannareally? REALLY? through her dollar store ear buds. I don’t want to hear your nonsense, lady! (I step on her foot. Intentionally.)

2) So i’m being forced to stomach ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD in one ear, when (the admittedly wonderful during normal hours) Nicki Minaj starts up behind me. Come on people! It’s 8:30am and we’re all dreading going to work. Must you inundate me with your super bass when all I want to do is crawl back into bed? (For your transgression, I shall “stumble” into you. Yeah, keep looking at me.)

you know a guy like this. don't you? 3) Finally (FINALLY!) I reach my destination. The mass moves to exit the train, but a suit is blocking half the door, reading his Wall Street Journal. Does he not notice the 15 people jostling towards him, desperate to escape the stale fart air of the M train? (For good measure, I drop a shoulder and bump him out of the way. I don’t look back, but he knows I did it on purpose. Good! He has been scorned.)

It seems I have an extraordinary amount of aggression towards those who commit subway fouls, so watch out NYC: the subway curmudgeon crusader might be coming after you next.